I'm in Love With My Straight Best Friend
by Shika-Kiba
Summary: Shikamaru is the first person "out of the closet" at his school. How will he deal with these new feelings he has towards old friends? SOMEWHAT AU; SLIGHT OOC; ONESIDED YAOI
1. Chapter 1

**AN: If you want, you can check out 2 of my other stories that are currently up for adoption. I'm hoping this story goes better than the last ones, but only the future knows, I guess.**

_I don't own Naruto, nor any of the characters mentioned in this story. This disclaimer applies to all my upcoming chapters in this book. I repeat: I own nothing except the plot idea of this fan fiction._

_Introduction – The Realization_

'Why am I like this…' I asked myself for the thousandth time in my life.

I was currently laying face-up on my bed, staring at the ceiling. There were all these neat little patterns in the paintwork…

I sighed and turned over onto my stomach, shoving my face into my uncomfortable pillow. I kept thinking about Kiba, my secret crush who also happens to live 4 houses down from me. His cute face – and not to mention his perfect abs and biceps – refused to leave my mind. I had known him since second grade, where we were the best of friends. I only started to have feelings stronger than friendship for him recently, about the beginning of 7th grade. I was currently out of school, because it was summer, and going into my 8th grade year. Kiba and I had never drifted apart. I was considered part of the family in the Inuzuka household, as was Kiba in the Nara household. However, despite all the perfections Kiba had – both mind and body- there was still an essential flaw I saw with my secret crush…

He was straight.

At first, I tried to ignore the feelings completely; I couldn't have actually fallen in love with that crazy dog boy, had I? I could and did, actually.

Soon after, I tried dropping hints and brought up the conversation of sexuality as often as I could, but only when we were alone. I was hoping he would eventually be admitting the simple 2 words… Well, 3 if you count that one's a contraction…

"I'm gay."

Then, if I got really lucky, there would be an extra 6 words (7 for the contraction) tacked onto the end of that phrase.

"…and I'm in love with you."

That never happened, though. As far as I know, he's still as straight as a signpost, sadly, and has a girlfriend named Hinata.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against women in general, and Hinata is even one of my closer friends, but I would never kiss, date, or get in bed with any girl whatsoever. The female reproduction system grosses me out, to be honest.

My mother interrupted my thoughts when she came into my room and shook my shoulder lightly, since I was still face down, laying on my stomach.

"Shika, are you awake?" she asked after a few seconds.

"Yeah, mom, I'm fine," I said as I turned over and sat up in bed.

"Honey, why are your eyes all red? Have you been crying?" she asked with upmost worry.

"No, I'm just really tired. I watched TV for too long last night," I answered, faking a yawn.

"…Well, okay, sweetie, if you say so," she replied with a sigh. "Don't forget your first day of 8th grade is tomorrow, so go to bed at least before 10:00," she added. With that, she left my room, closing my door in the process.

I don't know if she realized I lied to her. I _have _been crying. I fake yawns when I don't want people to see tears of sorrow. Instead, they see tears of exhaustion. I don't want them to worry.

My eyes thick with tears, I rolled onto my side, facing away from my bedroom door. I had to bite my finger to keep from sobbing uncontrollably. I subconsciously started to think about him… Kiba Inuzuka, the guy I wanted to hug so badly right now and be hugged back with just as much passion.

I had to stop my train of thought, right before it went down a road of pain. That road of pain was the path of a one-way love. Always wanting to be loved by Kiba, yet never receiving the same love I offered him.

*FLASHBACK*

"_Of course I love you, Shikamaru," Kiba answered, my hopes as high as a kite._

"_You're my best friend, how could I not love you? You're like a brother to me!" he said with a grin. My kite of hopes was just shot down by a sniper._

_On the outside, I was smiling. On the inside, I was crying, wailing so loud in my mind I thought that Kiba might hear it._

_With small tears already beginning to well up in my eyes, I faked a yawn. Kiba, to my surprise, looked relatively concerned._

"_Shikamaru, is everything okay? You've been yawning nearly non-stop today. Did you get enough sleep?"_

"_No," I answered. "I'm just not a good sleeper in general…" I actually answered truthfully._

"_That sucks dick," Kiba said, a small smile on his face, a laugh about to escape his lips._

_I forced myself to smile, and I even managed to laugh a little, and he soon joined in on the laughter. 'Kiba, you have no idea,' I thought._

"_Hey, um, Kiba, can I tell you something? It's kind of private, so please don't tell anyone," I began._

"_Yeah, sure! My lips are sealed!" Kiba said with a huge smile._

'_I don't understand how he's so happy all the time…' I thought to myself._

"_I… don't really know how to tell you this… but I'm… gay…" I said, mumbling the last few words._

_Kiba's smile immediately left his face. "You're… what?"_

"…_Gay," I repeated after a few seconds._

_Kiba just sat there on the sofa, staring at me, frozen in shock. A sweat bead formed on my face. If I were to guess, I think it was a full minute before Kiba responded._

"_I… u-uh…" Kiba stuttered._

_That was the last thing I heard from him. He ran out of my living room, out the front door, and all the way to his home._

"_What was that all about?" my mother asked, walking into the living room from the kitchen._

"_Kiba said that his parents… had dinner ready so he had to go home," I quickly lied._

"_Oh… okay. He was welcome to stay for dinner, he always is…" Mother answered._

"_Yeah, he knows…" I replied with a small sigh._

*END FLASHBACK*

That incident was a week ago. Kiba and I haven't talked since. I haven't texted him, (which was usually a daily thing for us.) and he hasn't texted me. I'm worried he won't want to be my friend anymore… He probably hates me… I bet he told a ton of people that I'm a fag by now…

The tears were still falling, but no sound was escaping my lips. I still had my finger knuckle in my mouth, teeth clamped so hard I was afraid I might've bitten my own finger off.

Just then I felt and tasted blood on my finger.

'Great, just great,' I thought. I took my finger out of my mouth and stared at both of my hands. On the exact same knuckle on every finger on both hands was a small scar from biting my fingers. There was only a small amount of blood on my right-hand pointer finger, where the most recent injury had occurred seconds ago. I definitely wouldn't bleed out from it.

'Crap, I thought about Kiba again…'

A different finger was in my mouth to muffle the sobs.

I tried to stop myself from going deeper into my thoughts, but I couldn't resist… I was too emotionally exhausted to stop myself.

'Kiba… Why can't I just be fucking normal, none of this would've happened… I wouldn't have a crush on Kiba and we'd still be friends. I can't help being gay, it's definitely not a choice, nor was it an easy transition to realize I was gay and in love with my straight best friend. He's not even single-"

My mind and body froze, realizing what I had just mentally dived into.

'What if they've kissed… they probably have… what if they've stayed overnight together somewhere…'

My entire body burst into shaking fits, my sobs becoming too wild to control anymore. My only hope is to shove my face into the pillow and hope it muffles my screams enough so no one hears me…

Eventually I cried myself to sleep, like I have done for the past week.

I miss Kiba…

Why can't he love me…?

Ugh, life…

~FS


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: Boring but explanatory chapter.**

_Part One – The Confrontation_

After a night of barely any sleep, I was forced to wake up bright and early at 6:00 am.

Some people might say that the beautiful rays of sunlight would wake you up refreshingly. I beg to differ, because said rays of sunlight made me wake up grumpy. I don't like being grumpy, it hurts the ones I love.

Wiping excess tears out of my eyes from last night, I got out of bed, grabbed a set of clothes and headed off to the bathroom for a shower. I love showers, especially just standing there in the water, thinking about nothing.

After 15 minutes of watery bliss, I had to get out so I wouldn't miss the bus. I grabbed a package of Poptarts for the bus and shoved them in my bag as I headed out the front door.

As I was walking on the sidewalk towards the bus stop, I passed my friend Naruto's house.

Naruto and I go way back, where we met in preschool. We've always been really good friends, but I don't think I'll ever develop feelings for him. He's just too good of a friend.

Anyways, I saw him in the window on the first floor of his house, where he was getting his backpack. He waved to me, and I waved back. I stopped walking so I could wait for him.

"Hey, Shikamaru!" he practically yelled whilst running down a pathway to his house. I grinned, this time for real. It had been a while since I had seen my old friend Naruto. We only hung out once or twice over the summer. Seeing Naruto always made my day and put a smile on my face.

"Hey there, Naruto," I said with a smile. "It's been a short while, now, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Naruto replied, scratching the back of his head as if trying to remember the last time we met. "The last time I saw you, we were at the park, right?"

"I think so. That was when we hung out with Gaara and Shino, yeah?" I asked. We had begun to walk towards the bus stop, still talking.

"If I remember correctly, yup, that was it!" Naruto replied, flashing his predictable smile.

"I remember that day… That was right after the 4th of July," I said. A wave of memories from the day came flooding back to me, most of them good.

At that exact moment, we passed Kiba's house. Also at that exact moment, Kiba walked out of said house.

As I heard the door open, I instinctively looked back. Kiba was looking right at me, but I couldn't read his face because as soon as I saw him looking, I turned my head and looked straight ahead.

Naruto, having witnessed the whole scene, couldn't help but wonder.

"Um… Did something happen between you two?" he whispered to me.

I just shook my head and yawned.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Naruto and I finally arrived at the neighborhood bus stop, only to see that Gaara and his siblings had beat us there.

"Hi Gaara!" Naruto said, his enthusiasm reappearing almost instantly.

"Hello there, Naruto…" Gaara replied, a small and rare smile appearing on his face.

Gaara and I have also been friends for a while, but he doesn't seem like the loving type.

Naruto and Gaara were chatting about their summers and what the other had missed. Their talking was like white noise to me, I was too busy thinking about everything that had happened with Kiba and I to listen to the conversation.

Speaking of the dog boy, he was standing right behind me. We were the last two people in the bus line. Naruto and Gaara were in front of me, so I had to keep silent.

I could feel Kiba's eyes staring at the back of my head. Trying to act calm, I yawned and scratched the back of my freshly cleaned head.

"Um… Shikamaru…"

My heart seemed to freeze and skip a beat at the same time when I heard Kiba say that.

"Y-Yeah?" I asked nervously.

"I just wanted to say… that I still want to be your friend… but I don't… like you like that…"

Crap, it was a win-lose situation. This sucks.

"…Thanks, I guess…" I answered.

"…"

I realized that Gaara and Naruto had stopped talking and were staring at us in question. It was eerily silent; not even nature's animals were making noise.

"…Do I want to know what this is about?" Naruto asked with a worried look on his face.

"No," Kiba and I said in unison.

'I guess Kiba didn't tell anyone my secret, then. That's… good,' I thought.

By the way, I'm still "in the closet" as most people put it. Except to Kiba, of course. He's the only one that I've told.

The birds started chirping again, but no one in the group talked. Even Naruto was silent.

Eventually, the bus came to pick us up. We got onto a bus full of screaming (and mostly younger) children. The line of people we had arranged at the bus stop got on the bus. Kankuro, Temari, Gaara, and Naruto took the two empty seats near the front of the bus. Our school bus was literally packed. There were only 2 open spots left, coincidentally on the same seat. Kiba and I sat there. We were next to each other, but we avoided eye contact.

"I hope you guys like where you're sitting, because these will be your assigned seats," said the bus driver over the intercom. Moans and groans were heard throughout the bus. Assigned seats were never fun.

I silently cursed for having to sit next to the guy I had a crush on. It's one of the most emotionally draining experiences I've ever had to endure in my short 13-going-on-14 year life.

Oh, and for those of you that think sitting next to your crush on a bus is a good thing, I should remind you that there is a 0% chance I will get to be with him. So, therefore, it sucks wanting something you can never have.

After an incredibly long 15-minute bus ride, we finally arrived at school. Before the bus even came to a complete stop, I stood up and ran off the bus faster than I should have. I really needed to get off that God-forsaken bus though…

By the time I was off the bus and in the school doors, no one had even stood up yet.

I slowed my pace in the halls. The bell rang and I knew I had to find my locker. Since it was my last year in middle school, I knew my locker was in the 8th grade hallway.

'1096… 1097… Here it is, 1098,' I thought. I pulled out a slip of paper from my pocket.

'It says my combo is… 2, 4, 19,' I added. When my locker opened, I stuffed my backpack in. I heard some crinkling.

'Dammit, I forgot to eat my Poptarts…' I thought. 'I'm gonna be hungry for a while. Great.'

People were still flooding into the halls. Most were people I knew. I even saw some hot guys there. There were some new faces, as well.

No one had appeared at the lockers next to mine yet, and I didn't want to stay there long and find out. I grabbed my class schedule and headed for Room 21.

I didn't see Kiba in my first period, which was Language Arts taught by a guy named Pein. He looked only in his mid 20's and was wearing a black t-shirt with a red cloud on the front.

"Hello, class. My name is Professor Pein and I will be your teacher for the 8th grade year. I see that most of you know each other," he said while looking over at 2 girls named Sakura and Ino chatting away about corn. "But just in case you don't, we're going to play the classic game called IGASMNAI." (Igg-Uh-Sim-In-Eye)

"Like, um, what's that, Mr. Pein? Um?" Sakura asked.

"It stands for I Go Around And Say My Name And Interests," Pein said with as much patience as he could muster.

"Like, 'kay!" Ino said. Pein sighed.

First period went normally, with only minor interruptions, mostly by Sakura.

Second period was Science and it was taught by a woman named Tsunade. Kiba was in my class, but he was on the other side of the room.

Third period math was taught by Iruka, who lives on the street adjacent to mine. Naruto and Gaara were in this class with me.

Forth period was lunch.

Fifth period was P.E., where an unattractive muscular guy named (ironically) Guy. Naruto, Kiba, and Gaara were all in this class with me.

Sixth period was Social Studies, taught by Kakashi, Iruka's boyfriend. I had a new kid in that class named Sai.

Seventh period was the last class of the day, when I had band. My old friend Sasuke sat on the other side of the room. I play percussion, and Sasuke plays the oboe.

Each class went by smoothly, and I even saw some people that could be candidates for future crushes. Some were HOT, and some were… not so much.

Anyways, after an uneventful first day of school, I learned some things.

I was locker neighbors with Choji and Ino, the dumb chick from first period. I don't really know either of them that well.

Kiba, thankfully, was only in 3 of my classes counting lunch.

From what I've heard today, there is absolutely NO ONE in my school that is gay. Except me, of course, but no one knows that. My chances for having a date this year are slim to none.

Last but not least, I learned that nearly everyone in my grade has had some kind of sex with someone. The only people I know of that haven't are: Me, Kiba, Hinata, and a few others. I'm glad to hear that Hinata and Kiba are being smart for now.

Let's just hope that doesn't change.

**AN: I'm sorry this chapter seemed really boring, but I needed to explain a few things. If you have any questions, feel free to review or PM me.**

**~FS**


End file.
